Celebrate Small Wins
One of the questions I struggle with as a recovering people pleaser, is where do I get acknowledgement and praise if I stop relying on people pleasing behaviors?
Learning to rely on self acknowledgment and self praise rather than seeking approval from others is really difficult for me. I have an overactive self critic in my brain that just wants to tell me what I’m doing wrong, or how I’m not enough. Learning to appreciate myself and love myself is hard work. The hardest work I’ve ever done.
One way I’m working on loving myself is by writing down my small daily accomplishments.
I’m a list maker, and often I’ll add items onto my to do list that I’ve already done, just so I can cross them off. Just so that I can see, yes, I did get something done today. Does anyone else do this? Please don’t let me be the only one.
The problem with a traditional do do list for me is that if I don’t get all.the.things done, my inner critic has a party. Telling me what a loser I am. If I make an accomplishment list instead, what I did do, it doesn’t seem to activate my critic so much. I can be a sneaky ninja.
I bought an inexpensive traveler’s notebook style insert at the craft store. Since I have a huge sticker stash from my scrapbooking and card making supplies, I’ve used those to decorate my pages.
I make a little sticker collage, something I think is pretty and makes me smile and glue it to the page.
Then I start listing my small, daily accomplishments. The things no one else is acknowledging me for. Since I’m working on the self love aspect, I use small pink hearts instead of check marks. These are the kinds of things I put on my list:
Poop patrol (we have 2 Golden Retrievers - enough said!)
Take donations to thrift store
Clean the downstairs bathroom
Water patio plants
Make Thai salad dressing
You get the idea.
Normal, everyday stuff that gets done, that no one pays attention to. That I didn’t pay attention to, and then would think I didn’t get anything done at the end of the day. And then my inner critic would get to partying again. Sigh.
Celebrating small wins is a way I can build myself up, practice positive self talk, and practice self care by acknowledging myself for all that I do, rather than just ignoring or discounting myself. When I practice these skills I am rewiring my brain with self worth and self love.
Plus, I get to play with my stickers! ;)
Remember to breathe.
Extra love,